Monday, September 14, 2009

126

I look forward to the day you STOP messaging me incessantly. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE dammit. Get the hint man.

I miss doing a lot of things, and going a lot of places.
I miss dining at ikea, you know, its succulent meatballs, and yummy curry puffs and ice cream. I miss cycling at ecp, and letting the breeze kiss my face. I miss bargain hunting at stores along orchard road. I miss tucking in junk food at long john, and carl's junior's onion rings. I miss using my mac and I-chat. Oh god, I miss the life before now. Right, not exactly the life before since it's not like I do not have a life now, more like what I used to be able to enjoy back then when I was still_______.
How should I put it?

I understand perfectly well that I only have such memories for keeps, it's just that I could not dissociate such activities from the person I used to do them with. If you get what I mean, you would understand how I am feeling now. I can say that I am no longer upset or furious, it's just that pangs of pity and How-nice-if-everything-was-back-to-rosy kind of feelings. Sometimes wishful thinking, but well, that's under control. Somehow we do not seem like what we used to be anymore. We are not even acknowledging each other's presence. I could feel that awkward silence between us whenever we unintentionally bumped into each other at Lewin. Why couldn't we just muster courage and say a simple greeting? I do not think the ladies first mentality applies in such situations. I prefer chivalry. Right, perhaps, you think the girl I used to be is dead, and I assume the boy you used to be is dead. This perfectly explains our reticence. Awesome, we can continue bearing grudges and hate each other.
Right, I shall skip the part of forgiving and forgetting, but I would like to think the least we could do is start recognizing each other's presence on earth; I really abhor those silent situations in Lewin. Oh god, is there a need to even pretend we do not know each other at all. This sounds so primary school.
I think I deserve a little courtesy from you. I cannot forget those instances you ignored me. It hurts as much as how you were being ignored by her I assume. I am not sorry if I hit a raw nerve, but yes, what goes around comes around to get you.

There is a fair chance you would not read this for whatever reason, I do not bother. Thing is, I hope the next time we see each other at Lewin, things will be nicer. Smile for a start.