Haven't I thought you've changed?
The last thing I want is for history to repeat itself; for that same old nagging problem to be acting up again.
Things now are pretty, but I am thinking for our long term sake.
Can this change in me be sustainable?
Last Sunday's event wasn't such a big problem, actually. But that's because no one was around. I cannot imagine full attendance. My heart will give way. And I could imagine myself dissociating from the situation.
I am trying to overcome this flaw. I am trying my darnest best. And believe me, unless you are me, you won't ever understand the struggle in me.
And no, it isn't just a few events to overcome. It's a lifetime of them. Now, can I convince myself that I will grow to eventually accept this environment.
Lifetime, the thought of never getting away with it scares me a little.
No excuses, no avoidance and no dissociation.
How am I supposed to deal with it.
Change is crucial, but how sustainable can this change be?
I want to stop feeling this inadequate.
I want to overcome this, will you help me?
